BC Lavender Graduation

Join us on Zoom to celebrate BC LGBTQ+ Students as we recognize their achievements and contributions to Bellevue College and the LGBTQ+ Community! 

Hear from faculty, students and our Keynote Speaker GODDEXX/LA ESPIRITISTA.

Register Today!

lav grad


May be an image of 1 person and outdoorsAnd I am Goddexx. 

I grew up in an extremely religious household under the influence of Catholicism. Since a very young age, I have had a deep connection to spirit and learned that people valued my intuition, guidance, and insight. When I came into my first evolution of queerness at 14 years old, I thought I could no longer be spiritual and express my most holistic self. My shame caused me to demonize myself and I began to drink, developed a vicious eating disorder, and fell into various cycles of self-sabotage until my mid-late 20s.
When I began my medical transition from female to Goddexx in 2014, spiritual transformation began to take place. I started to connect back to my ancestors and spirit guides. I started to channel their messages through performance, word conjuring, intuitive readings, and vivid dreams. I was told to connect back
 to the earth again and connect with the Orishas (forces of nature of the Yoruba people). I learned how genocide, colonization, and white supremacy forced many Indigenous and African people to give up their spiritual and religious traditions. I learned how this history courses through my blood as someone who descends both from the colonizer and the colonized. I learned how repression, punishment, and domination was used as a means of control.

I repressed so many of my desires because the words “I want” were associated with the devil. Pleasure was deemed opposite to spirit. To be queer, trans, polyam + the many other identities I hold meant to defy the rules given by “God” and transcend into a world of expression, empowerment, and embodiment. For some reason, this was deemed sinful and I was taught through a fear-based model of Catholicism that only through a life of sacrifice and suffering, one could truly be aligned with spirit.

But these ideologies are wrong.

Spirituality, Sexuality, and Sensuality can exist altogether and in fact our connection to our queerness, transness, and fluidity, brings us closer to spirit. Binaries don’t actually exist in a static, containers do. Concepts are constantly shifting, merging, separating, and flowing into new forms.

My first experience with embarking on my medical transition to affirm my gender is the moment I began to reclaim my spirit. I remembered that I could be spiritually wise and sexually liberated. That I could feel desire and harness my expression as magic. That I could encompass the expansiveness of all my identities and be divinity embodied – A Goddexx.

As a Goddexx, reclaiming my spirit and wisdom has been a slow and sacred journey- releasing my traumas, renewing my pleasure, retreating into my shadows, and rebirthing my being. Each new cycle brings an abundance of epiphanies worth celebrating. Each transformation is a reminder of my inherent worthiness for my own love, compassion, and forgiveness. I am informed by my past, living in the present, and simultaneously conjuring the present and future I have always desired. I am worthy of infinite love. I am worthy of fluidity. I am worthy of my desires.

And so are you.

Warmth and Divinity,
Goddexx

Last Updated May 27, 2021