As much as we like to share insights into our program and share assignments and activities from our students’ coursework, something we like sharing even more is the variety of interests and hobbies that are part of their lives. One of our first year students, Ella Mae, has been working on a poetry and art book in collaboration with her tutor Arni Adler. It’s in the final stages to completion, and we did a Q&A session with them to learn more about the book and what inspired Ella Mae to make it.
What do you like most about writing poetry and doing artwork?
Ella Mae: I enjoy playing with words in poems and getting all my thoughts down on paper and getting the thoughts into a poem. I love to draw because I can just drift out and go to my happy place, drawing shapes, making patterns I can see in my mind.
Arni: Ella Mae was already writing poetry and making art, so we just gathered a bunch of that work and put it in book form. We did work a lot on creating new art and poems, and revising existing poems and essays. But, creative work/play has been part of Ella Mae’s life for a very long time, before I ever met her 4.5 years ago. It’s one of the main ways she relaxes.
How long have you been working on it?
Ella Mae: I have been working on the book for over a year, maybe almost one and a half years. I have been writing in journals since I was 8. It’s how I process my feelings and emotions about life and how CP has affected me with friends and about feeling like I belong. I also just enjoy writing in general. I like to write poetry and I enjoy the rhythm and sounds of words. I wanted to have my poems and journal entries in a physical book because they would just be sitting there scattered everywhere.
What inspired you to want to do this book?
Ella Mae: I wanted a collection of my poems and journal entries because it’s important to share my voice and for others to hear what I have to say. People I know are inspired that I wrote a book, so I hope it inspires others to accomplish what they want to do.
Arni: Ella Mae has a strong sense of social justice, and suffered as a child because other kids didn’t understand much about her disability. As a result, she likes to work with other children who have disabilities (at the Seattle Children’s PlayGarden, a school and garden for kids with disabilities, as a camp counselor in the summer) because she “want[s] to inspire them to be who they are and to make them feel that they are important.” Because we worked on a paper for high school on the ADA and her work at the Playgarden, we wanted her to put her voice out there so others might know better what it’s like to have a disability, how it doesn’t have to stop you from doing what you love to do. But that there are also struggles that are real.
Ella Mae: You can develop strategies to overcome your challenges.
What is your favorite piece so far?
Ella Mae: I like certain pages especially. My favorite poem that I wrote is called “You Don’t Know Me.” (shared below)
Arni: I especially like the essay called “My Left Arm,” which is about how Ella Mae copes with shakiness sometimes in her left arm, and how she feels judged by others as a result. Also, I love all of her artwork, which is abstract, vibrant, and very beautiful. The patterns in it come naturally to her and are very satisfying to look at.
Do you have any advice for other students who are interested in writing poetry or creating art?
Ella Mae: Yes. When you’re frustrated or you find your mind racing with thoughts, a strategy that might help you is to write your thoughts down on paper. That might help you get the energy out. It’s important to show your creativity, and it matters what you want to say. Poetry and art can be a way to express yourself, if you enjoy it. Everyone has something they enjoy. So we should do those things.
You Don’t Know Me
You see me standing there,
shy in my calm, yellow happy self.
Yet there is a wall in front of my eyes,
not going away.
You don’t know me,
always a beating in my heart,
and then it melts away.
You don’t know me,
as someone who has been
rejected by friends.
When you look at me once,
only on the surface,
the silence brings me back
behind the fence in my eyes,
the fence in your eyes.
Underneath, my bones ache
and my teeth clench.
Wanting to reach out. Yet scared.
Wanting to take the risk to get your number.
Scared and frozen, walking away,
till I realize that we were connecting.
Perfect chance to take a risk to hang out,
but the confusion inside takes my voice away.
You don’t know me,
in the shadow of my tiredness.
I don’t have the energy to take another risk.
It’s your turn to do what I do.
I prefer getting to know one another one on one.
Talking and laughing,
sitting on a concrete bench,
looking right into your eyes.
I don’t know your smiling face,
your legs that dance and move.
My shadow pins me down.
You think I should speak up,
not realizing I have been rejected by others in my past.
I am scared.
I don’t show my tears and scared voice
under my mask.
You don’t know me.
You don’t know my challenges,
invisible, yet they are there in the sun.
Different isn’t the same.
Pay attention to my left arm shaking,
the quirks in my left side,
the stillness in my right arm.
I have to put myself out there,
try to get your number.
You ask me.
Imagine a friendship that could start with you.
Two people need to make an effort,
not just one.
I walk away. You don’t know me.
Yet.
Speak up! Ask me a question!
Are you afraid I will be offended?
We are taught to be polite,
not ask questions.
Don’t stare at her.
Yet you know I am different.
Ask, get to know me.
Get to know me.
Get to know me.
Get to know me.
Last Updated March 5, 2020